Search

On Gay Marriage

Gay Marriage is a “hot topic” right now, and I thought I would weigh in on the issue. I'm sure that some of what I am going to say will earn me the wrath of my fellow Christians, since I do favor legalizing gay marriage, but let me explain why I do so.

I believe that Christianity is about how we, as Christians, live our lives. If we believe something is immoral, then we should try to refrain from doing it. But that doesn't mean we should try to make it illegal for others to do it. Jesus told us how to live our lives, but never told us to tell non-Christians how to live theirs, and the idea that we should make laws forbidding non-Christians from doing things we oppose, if we simply oppose them on moral grounds, seems ridiculous to me. If we, as Christians, believe that marriage between same-sex couples is immoral, then Christians should avoid marrying members of the same sex. But for us Christians to make it illegal for non-Christians to marry members of the same sex does come across as religious persecution.

If we were truly a “Christian nation” (that is, if everyone in the United States was a Christian), then making gay marriage illegal might be more justified. But since we are a religiously-diverse country which has a long-standing policy of recognizing minority rights and avoiding religious persecution, I don't believe that forcing non-Christians to live according to Biblical principles makes any sense. People of all faiths, and even those who lack faith, should be free to act according to their own beliefs, and shouldn't be forced to act according to the beliefs of others.

Now, that's not to say that everything the Bible forbids should be legal. The Bible forbids murder, rape, and robbery, for example. But since there are very good, non-religious, reasons for these things to be illegal (and even atheists or people of other faiths generally agree that these things are wrong) then they should be illegal. Not because they're immoral, but because they cause pain and sorrow for their victims. But we shouldn't be legislating morality. Personally, I feel the government already legislates too much and would like to see Americans be more free to do what they want, as long as no one is being hurt or unnecessarily offended in the process.

It should be pointed out that the main thing the Bible forbids when it comes to homosexuality is the sexual act itself. But even most Christians agree that “gay sex” should not be illegal, since sexuality is a private matter. They want to keep the government out of people's bedrooms and let the gay people do what they want, as long it's between consenting adults and no one is forced to see them doing it. On this, I absolutely agree, and would expand this idea to the marriage. If you're opposed to gay marriage, then don't marry a member of the same sex. But I don't see a good reason to forbid others from doing so. If you personally define marriage as between a man and a woman, then you're free to consider married gay couples to not be married, but in the eyes of the law itself, they should be.

I, as a Christian, certainly don't HAVE to favor the legalization of gay marriage. Even if I recognize the idea that the government has no basis for denying marriage between gay couples, I certainly have the right to “sit this one out” and not voice my opinion one way or the other.

But I do favor legalizing gay marriage, and have no problem saying so.

Here's why.

First, I do recognize that “being gay” is not a choice. A gay man cannot choose to fall in love with a woman any more than me, as a heterosexual male, can choose to fall in love with a man. So what's a gay man to do? I don't believe adults should have to live without love and romance in their lives. And I believe love and romance is better if it's within a loving and committed relationship, rather than among multiple partners. This is true whether those within the loving and committed relationship are gay or not, so I encourage marriage among anyone. Gay people are better off, in my opinion, within a marriage than they would be not within a marriage, so I do encourage gay people to get married if they want to do so.

(note: I'm talking about gay couples here exclusively as man and man, and not woman and woman, for two reasons: One is that the Bible mostly talks about homosexuality as between males. The other is to avoid using confusing phrases like “a gay man (or woman) cannot choose to fall in love with a woman (or man)” Assume everything I say about gay marriage applies to men or women equally, please)

If “being gay” is not a choice, as I believe, it's still a good point that “gay sex” (which, again, is the main thing the Bible opposes) is a choice. Even if a person doesn't choose to be gay, he still chooses to have sex. A gay person can, of course, choose to be abstinent instead. If I was gay and still a Christian, I likely would choose abstinence (though I can't say for sure, since that's not a situation I've been in). But it's simply unrealistic to say “don't have sex”, especially if the gay person is not religious and thus would have no moral objection to sex. We can't tell gay people not to have sex, just because WE find it immoral. That would be like a Hindu telling a Christian not to eat beef, since Hindus find it immoral. There's simply no way this would be convincing or effective.

There is, of course, the argument that gay people having sex helps the spread of the AIDS virus. But we can counter this by encouraging monogamy among gay people, as “gay marriage” does. If a gay man is in a monogamous relationship, there's less chance of him acquiring the AIDS virus than if he's not in a monogamous relationship. Thus if our concern is really over the spread of the AIDS virus, then we should be encouraging gay marriage, not opposing it, since marriage encourages monogomy.

I should add that I totally oppose forcing churches to perform, or recognize, gay marriages. I definitely believe that the government shouldn't have the power to tell churches what to do, as long as the churches aren't hurting anyone. If a gay couple wants to get married, then they should have that right, but to tell the couple that they can force a church to perform the ceremony violates that church's rights, and is a violation of the separation or church and state. The couple can just as easily perform the ceremony in their home, in a public venue that allows gay marriages, or even in those churches that willingly decide to perform such ceremonies.

The Chick-Fil-A company has become a focal point of this issue, when their President, Dan Cathy, publicly voiced his opposition to gay marriage. To many, this has become a first-amendment issue, when I'd say the first amendment is only marginally involved. Yes, Dan Cathy has the right to speak his mind on gay marriage, and to hold the views he does. I absolutely support his right to believe what he wants and say what he wants, and I would not personally boycott Chick-Fil-A over this (though I won't eat there, since I'm allergic to poultry). However, it should be pointed out that most of those who are boycotting the company aren't doing so because Dan Cathy spoke his mind, but because he also donates millions of dollars of Chick-Fil-A's profits to groups that oppose gay marriage. He is, of course, within his rights to donate the money however he wants. But those who favor legalizing gay marriage, understandably, don't want to give money to a company if that money will ultimately be given to groups they oppose, especially if they have other restaurants that don't do so. And for this reason, I would refuse to eat there, even if I wasn't allergic to chicken.

Of course, people who refuse to spend their money on Chick-Fil-A, or who encourage others to boycott the company, are also well within their first-amendment rights. So long as people are simply speaking their minds on issues, or spending (or not spending) their money how they see fit, the first amendment is not being violated. As long as no one is talking about throwing people in jail or making the government stand in the way of their business, no one's rights are being violated here.

However, the mayors of some cities, including Boston and Chicago, have pledged not to allow Chick-Fil-A to open businesses in their cities. Since these are government officials threatening to interfere with their business practices, I do believe that this is a violation of the first amendment. The mayors certainly have the right to express their disapproval of Chick-Fil-A, but to pledge refusal to allow them to open their businesses there is wrong and should not have been done.

Please log in to post comments. Not a member? Register. It's free!

On Gay Marriage

I just discovered your website the other day and have enjoyed what you have put together. I want to encourage you to continue to research this topic as you have so many when putting this site together. " I believe that Christianity is about how we, as Christians, live our lives. If we believe something is immoral, then we should try to refrain from doing it. But that doesn't mean we should try to make it illegal for others to do it." If you were to extend this logic there would be nothing we as " Christians " could oppose simply on the basis that others want to do it. Should we not stand against abortion simply because " others want to do it " ? Heaven forbid. I offer this link to a man who has written a book which sets the standard on homosexual practice. The Bible and Homosexual Practice: Texts and Hermeneutics by Robert A. J. Gagnon, Ph.D. This article deals with the topic at hand: http://www.robgagnon.net/articles/homoPresbyTodaySB.pdf His website has a wealth of information: http://www.robgagnon.net/ I pray that you will continue to grow in the grace and truth of our Lord Jesus Christ.Posted by Joseph on May 21, 2013

I Agree with patsy j., dj and Curtis

The author has been instrumental in my ministry unto unbelievers. Many times, I did not have the information at my disposal to confront unbelievers about the mistruths pertaining the alleged mythological roots of Christianity that where clouding their perception of whom Jesus was. His easily navigated site allows me to click on the topic that helps address the skeptical inquirers quickly and straightforwardly. His work has instrumentally strengthened my faith. This is an awkward start: I love pedophiles, pornography addicts, and homosexuals. I love them a lot and have no feelings against them. However, I needn’t deny my conscience that intercourse with a minor, fantasized fornication and same-sex intercourse are detestable to God (Lev 18:22)—they’re outside his purpose. I needn’t deny my conscience to demonstrate my love to them. God’s passion is my passion; his heart is my heart; his abomination is my abomination. Here’s a problem I have with the article: it never explicitly states God’s opinion on the issue of same-sex marriage; it seems preoccupied with the opinion of man—a weakness I admittedly possess. How is this article less concerned with God’s opinion? That’s an improper question. It merely seems that the article is less concerned with God’s opinion, but here’s my explanation. The author is overly concerned about our country’s cultural and religious diversity to the extent that he approves government recognition of same-sex marriage. Why, as a citizen empowered to vote righteously, would someone rather live under a government that doesn’t define marriage according to the boundaries set by God? Does God not have a voice in his body because it inhabits a country that fears the opinion of man? John the Baptist, of whom Jesus said there was no one greater born (Mat 11:11), neither feared Herodias nor her ‘right’ to unlawful marriage (Mat 14:3-4). John was a voice for righteousness, a voice for Jesus, whom has become our righteousness by faith (Rom 3:22). An overview of the book of Proverbs reveals that righteousness and wisdom practically come in a single combo. The wicked man abhors wisdom, the wise man treasures correction. Therefore, one cannot possess wisdom without righteousness and cannot possess righteousness without wisdom. King Solomon is a prime example of whom God assigned “to maintain justice and righteousness” (1 Kg 10:9). How was he able to govern a nation successfully? He prized his God-given wisdom and righteousness. If someone insists on electing officials who do not maintain righteousness, he or she unknowingly insists that his or her nation be governed with foolishness, which results in its eventual demise: “Righteousness exalts a nation, but sin is a disgrace to any people” (Pro 14:34). I want to dismantle the misimpression that the singled-out sin is homosexuality. That’s ridiculous! If there’s an opportunity to outlaw pornography, violent films, or even frivolous divorce, we as pillars of righteousness need to take advantage of it, more adamantly than the spiritual enemy who seeks to legislate immorality. In many ways, pornography is worst than same-sex marriage, but our culture has somehow tolerated it. Tolerating sin leads to disgrace.Posted by Aaron McKenzie on Jan 30, 2013

Many of the objections are already responded to in the article above (such as the legality of murder, stealing, etc.). People can't marry children and pets because children and pets cannot enter into contracts, and marriage is a contract.Posted by KingDavid8 on Dec 10, 2012

I agree with dj and curtis

1) As far as legislating morality, it's already been done (murder, lying/perjury, stealing, etc.) with varying degrees of consequences of course. I know that this may be a particular type of sin between two consenting adults; however, like dj basically said, where does it end? There are now sibblings who want to get married to each other and parents who want to marry their own children. Should these be legalized as legitimate marriages, also? I know, most would say "but there's a chance for harm to their offspring". But there's no guarantee that their offspring will be born with defects. What about people who want to marry their pets? There's also a group that exists that wants the age of consent lowered for young boys to be able to have sex with grown men. And, of course they have their reasons why this makes sense. Where does it end? 2) I agree with Curtis in that homosexuality is definitely the same as other sins. It's all a part of the fall. As a result, everyone is born in sin, with a bent towards some sin. I believe there are people born to murder (sociopaths, serial killers), people born to lie, people born to steal (kleptomaniacs), people born with sex addiction. These things may not be seen at birth but they canmanifest at an early age. At no time do we just accept these acts as normal. As for the comparison between the gay movement and the civil rights violations of black people, they are 2 different things: homosexuality is an act or behavior, being Black is not a behavior or an action. So, I agree with Curtis, there is no comparison between the two as far as wrong and right goes. Posted by patsy j. on Oct 18, 2012

Not so much

Let me start by saying, I like your site and enjoy the research you do. On this issue, however, I'm afraid I must disagree. I have gay friends, and while I would never tell them they are not allowed to love a member of the same sex, I don't believe that marriage should be changed to accommodate a relationship that falls outside of the norm. The arguments that you make for gay marriage can also be made for incest and polygamy, yet there are few advocates for those types of relationships - despite the fact that these relationships, like homosexuality, involve consenting adults. When presented with this argument, I'm either met with indignation but no rebuttal, or capitulation in which the other party has no choice but to admit there is no difference. Rather than concede, they simply indicate that no marriage should be denied. With your logic, we should not legislate morality since others do not share our religious views; therefore, any and all consenting adult relationships should be allowed to marry. Posted by dj on Oct 12, 2012

Agree and disagree

I simply believe that one could associate being gay with the fall. I look at the act as being sin just as if one lied murdered etc. My only issue is in this society we live in today changing the definition as a man and woman to people is wrong. I am a black man and my biggest issue was with associating being gay as a civil issue like being black. I do believe that some may be born that way (fall of man) but most make a choice. However even with the fall i was born black with no choice. I enjoy your sight and have for a couple years now. Keep up the good work and God bless you in the name of Jesus.Posted by Curtis on Sep 25, 2012

Agree!

When I was still a hardcore Roman Catholic (whatever that means), I almost hated gay people. Strangely, once I changed my views about religion in general, I became more tolerant of many things that I used to consider as 'grave' sins and sinners. Now I see gay people as nothing any different from us - just rarer :) And I agree to what you said 'But for us Christians to make it illegal for non-Christians to marry members of the same sex does come across as religious persecution.'. Posted by Jet Eloriaga on Aug 12, 2012